You can't tell the FREAKISH KUNG FU FIGHTERS without a scorecard

I know it is going to be difficult, but please try to follow along as best as you can, OK.
Tonight I watched "Du Bi Quan Wang Da Po Xue Di Zi (Master of the Flying Guillotine)," Jimmy Wang Yu's delightfully convoluted -- but immensely silly and fun -- wuxia kung fu film epic from 1975.
The story concerns a blind monk assassin who specializes in the FLYING GUILLOTINE -- a hat-like weapon with a bladed rim that is attached to a long chain. The flying guillotine lands on a victim's head, the user jerks on the chain, and the blades do the rest -- lopping the head clean off. Ouch!
OK. Here is where things get a little complicated. The blind monk assassin targets one-armed men, because the famed ONE-ARMED BOXER killed two of his disciples. The blind monk needs a little help tracking down the one-armed boxer (played by writer-director-star Jimmy Wang Yu), so the assassin enlists the help of the best foreign fighters appearing at a prestigious kung fu tournament, including:
1) A Thai boxer who prepares for fights by dancing to music only he hears.
2) A Japanese kobojutsu master who fights with two billy clubs with knives that shoot out the ends. Confusingly, his name is Wins Without a Knife. Huh?
3) An Indian yoga master whose arms elongate to extraordinary lengths during the course of a fight.
To further complicate things, the film includes a battle in a bird shop, a barefoot man attempting to fight on a metal floor heated to stove-like temperatures, an ambush in a coffin factory and small catapults that hurl hatchets.
See why I wanted you to try your hardest to follow along?
"Du Bi Quan Wang Da Po Xue Di Zi" is more like a FEVER DREAM than a film.
Bear with it, though, because I highly recommend this film for all of your fun, mostly brainless escapism needs.
Heck, it even features those wonderfully fake kung fu fighting sounds!
"SCHMMAAACK! THHHWAACK! KAAA-PISCH-SCKOO! PAAAASCK! PAAAASCK!"