"They have come for your uncool niece"

I really don't want to go to work today.
I have to drive to CASSVILLE, WIS., to cover a festival of twins.
I can think of at least 12 things I would rather be doing. But I am resigned to my task. I know covering the festival must occur and I am the one to do it.
That's why I am listening to the DEAD KENNEDYS right now, before I head to the office. I can enjoy some vicarious lashing out at authority.
JELLO BIAFRA and the gang never thought much of authority, as evidenced by the sinister/humorous classic "CALIFORNIA ÜBER ALLES."
The song imagines then-Gov. JERRY BROWN taking control of society, creating a dystopian future where kids are forced to meditate at school and the happy face becomes the symbol of totalitarianism.
"Zen fascists will control you," Biafra sings.
I'll sing it to myself, later today, as I arrive to interview a town full of lookalikes.

Dancing... Like no one... is... watching!

ROUTE 1 staff are swinging their hips, shaking their heads and making strange, seizure-suffering chicken movements with their hands. Why?
We're dancing like no one is watching!
Readers share the tunes that make them shamelessly strut their stuff by answering this week's FRIDAY QUESTION:
"What song makes you dance like no one is watching?"
KERSTIN H. -- "Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club.
MIKE D. -- Some KC and the Sunshine Band music always makes me want to break out my disco moves.
JILL H. -- "I Melt With You" by Modern English, but only when my brother and sisters are with me!
RICK T. -- The Georgia Satellites' "Keep Your Hands to Yourself."
MIKE M. -- I dance like a fool to the banjo, fiddles and Ozark Harp in "Little Rabbit" by Crockett's Kentucky Mountaineers, as heard on the companion CD to R. Crumb's Heroes of Blues, Jazz & Country.
ERIK H. -- "Time was on my side when I was running down the street, it was so fine-fine-fine. A suitcase and an old guitar and something new to occupy my mind-mind-mind." It doesn't matter when or where I hear the 1979 single "Born to be Alive" by French disco singer Patrick Hernandez. I *always* start dancing. "We were born, born, born -- born to be alive!"

It is true: Girls Ain't Noting But Trouble

"Nevertheless, don't mean to bust your bubble, but girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble!
I blame the cats and dog.
I have been listening to "GIRLS AIN'T NOTHING BUT TROUBLE," the 1986 debut single by DJ JAZZY JEFF & THE FRESH PRINCE while preparing for work this morning.
Last night, I struggled to keep RORY the puppy away from LORELIE and MIKA the cats -- all females, by the way.
The puppy wanted to play, the cats wanted the puppy to quit jumping at them and a cacophony of hissing and barking ensued.
I was along in the house with the menagerie, and following a lengthy, busy day at work, the last thing I wanted to do was play animal kingdom referee.
I finally put the dog outside until Jill and the girls (also, all females) returned from shopping. My head was pounding.
This morning has been much calmer. Jill has already left for work and all the other females -- even the animal ones -- remain sleeping.
So, I can sit here and enjoy listening to -- arrrg! The dog is barking again?!?!

Suomen Summer Leaguer

You'll have to excuse us fans of the PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS.
What with Greg Oden healthy and Jerryd Bayless and Rudy Fernandez joining the team, we can't help thinking about the upcoming NBA season while the just-concluded campaign remains fresh in most other folks' memory.
That hope for the future, a return to the "Rip City" good times, means we're paying attention to things like PETTERI KOPONEN and his summer league success.
Koponen, 20, is a 6-foot-4 point guard bidding to fill Portland's 15th and final roster spot -- a spot that would make him only the second player from FINLAND to make the NBA (anybody remember Hanno Mottola?).
Koponen opened the summer league Monday, scoring 19 points with four three-pointers and three assists. The next night, the Finn added 18 points and three assists.
Admittedly, two summer league performances do not tell the entire story of Koponen, but rest assured Blazers fans will follow his exploits closely. We really are *THAT* excited for the season to arrive.

Classic "stupid line" in classic single

I was feeling nostalgic during my four-day weekend, so I hauled out several of my old 12-inch singles, including the funky 1981 release "(WE DON'T NEED THIS) FASCIST GROOVE THANG" by Sheffield trio HEAVEN 17.
I love the story of the band writing and recording the single, as reported in a contemporary interview in Britain's NME music newspaper.
"We were going through the disco charts in Record Mirror picking out all the words from those absurd disco titles," Heaven 17's MARTYN WARE told the paper. "We were laughing at those phrases, thinking they're pretty good and then we just chucked in 'How Much Longer Must We Tolerate This Fascist Groove Thang.' We were pissing ourselves for days. (Heaven 17 vocalist) GLENN (GREGORY) has to sing it line by line in the studio. We've got loads of out takes of him cracking up whilst singing. It was (the line) 'hot you ass I feel your power' that did him... a classic stupid line."
I would love to hear those out takes some day. They would be a perfect addition to some expanded edition CD.

"They can lie to my face, but not to my heart"

It hardly seems possible that the SHAM 69 anthem "IF THE KIDS ARE UNITED" was released 30 years ago today.
The anniversary makes me feel old: I remember the catchy track as being one of the first U.K. punk tunes I heard as an adolescent.
Sham 69's fourth U.K. single, "If the Kids Are United" song is loosely based on a chant popularized by Britain's Socialist Worker Party and the Arsenal supporters based in the North Bank at the club's former ground, HIGHBURY, according to George Gimarc in his comprehensive "PUNK DIARY."
"If the kids are united, then we'll never be divided."
Unwanted racist followers marred Sham 69's career, which is a shame. They produced a number of memorable, catchy tracks during their career, including a song that debuted three decades ago today.

Shout to the top

Today's cloudless blue skies and pleasantly warm weather immediately brought to mind the early 1980s and lazy summer days in SEBASTOPOL, CALIF., and lazy summer days in Sebastopol immediately brought to mind THE STYLE COUNCIL.
As a result, the girls and I listened to a CD of The Style Council's singles en route to the mall, where KERSTIN spent some of her birthday money.
I admit: It took me years to properly warm to the breezy, jazzy sound of The Style Council. That's because I was one of those fans of THE JAM who felt betrayed when leader PAUL WELLER broke up his original band.
My stance has mellowed over the years (heck, I even like Paul Young now), and listening to such Style Council songs as "Shout to the Top," "My Ever Changing Moods" and "Long Hot Summer" today brought back memories of endless days of cloudless blue skies.