Everything but a goal

I've heard it said so often it must be a FOOTBALL CLICHÉ by now:
"That game had everything but a goal."
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR and STOKE CITY just played a goalless draw on TV that fits that category.
There were dancing penguins, seven yellow cards, a substitute appearance by my favourite player (SCOTT PARKER) but no goals.
Spurs remained in fifth place in the PREMIER LEAGUE table with the shared points, while the Potters reside in eighth place.
It was an entertaining match and a nice start to the festive campaign, even if there weren't any goals.