Saturday, November 27, 2010

Builders of Dams, meet the Wings of Steel

Darron Thomas passed for three touchdowns and ran for another last night as MY BELOVED OREGON DUCKS rallied to defeat Arizona, 48-29, in college football action.
I'm telling you this result because college football fans are (rightly) consumed by last night's amazing upset of Boise State by the NEVADA WOLF PACK, and probably didn't bother to check the Ducks' score.

It now appears just one game stands in the way of an Oregon trip to the National Championship Game (believe me, it's just as bizarre typing that sentence as it is to read it). That one remaining game happens to be the 114th CIVIL WAR against the DANGED OL' BEAVERS.

I've told friends for months that I never expected Oregon to remain undefeated throughout this football season, and my TERMINAL SPORTS PESSIMISM (still intact, although badly damaged by the Giants' World Series victory) produces the haunting vision of the aforementioned D.O.B. shattering the Ducks' title chasing dreams down in beautiful OFF-BRAND POTATO SALAD MANUFACTURER'S STADIUM®, located somewhere southwest of Albany, Ore.

The dreaded D.O.B. just might provide a nightmare ending for Oregon, but the Builders of Dams will have to get past the WINGS OF STEEL first.

By "Wings of Steel" I am referring to the Oregon Duck mascot, who traditionally performs as many push-ups as Oregon has points after each U.O. score.

Last night, the Duck passed a milestone by completing his 2,500th push-up of the season.
He's now completed 2,636 push-ups during top-ranked Oregon's football games.

So yeah, the D.O.B. might spring a Civil War surprise next weekend, but they'll have to get past a steely armed, winged creature first.

Post-script:

Shhh! Don't tell anyone, but I actually rather like the Beavers, and cheer for them whenever they aren't playing Oregon.

However, I have a fun FACEBOOK shtick going in which I assume the mantle of arch Oregon State antagonist. I play it for my OSU alumni friends.

It serves an important role: What's a rivalry without a little spice?

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