I need a Brontosaurus-sized nap

I have been working since Sunday, with four consecutive night shifts -- something unaccustomed to this relatively early bird.
Unfortunately, I have a pair of stories to write when I get to the newspaper in about two hours.
I wish I could just sleep!
I am guzzling coffee now, but it will surely only have a limited effect.
I had better to listen to AMERICAN GARAGE ROCK of the mid-60s. That should help me wake up!