The first (can't call it "annual") WORLDSOCCERapalooza

One of the first things you learn in THE WONDERFUL AND APPARENTLY TERMINALLY ILL WORLD OF PRINT JOURNALISM is that you can't call anything the "FIRST ANNUAL." "Annual" means something occurs every year, and if an event has only happened once, it hasn't really happened every year, has it?
That's why I can't attach the word "annual" to my big event today -- the first WORLDSOCCERapalooza.
WORLDSOCCERapalooza? What's that?
It's as ludicrous an event as the stupid name implies.
After working yesterday, I decided that I would spend *all day* today reading the latest issue of British-based WORLD SOCCER magazine.
When I complete this issue, I will then open up a tote that contains EVERY WORLD SOCCER ISSUE SINCE MY SUBSCRIPTION BEGAN IN 1995 and I will read some of those, too.
OK, I admit it: The tote also contains about a half dozen World Soccer magazines that I purchased *before* my subscription kicked in -- I actually have World Soccer magazines from 20 years ago.
My wife thinks a tote full of old soccer magazines is such a ridiculous idea that she makes me lug it around whenever we move: She doesn't want anybody else straining their back over something so impossibly unnecessary, I guess.
I try to form an analogy with her tote of clothing scraps for the quilt she never makes, but my argument always seems torpedoed in the end.
Anyway, I can't wait for today. It's going to be so much fun reading old soccer magazines.
Then, next year around this time, the print journalism conventions will finally allow me to call it "THE SECOND ANNUAL WORLDSOCCERapalooza."
I can't wait!